/ Resources / Reflections / Grief


How dare I write an article about grief?  In some sense how can anyone dare to do this?  Grief is experienced so deeply, so uniquely.  Can there be any help to move through it?


Though unique to a person, people have gathered gems over time which can bring support to those suffering a new loss.

Denial is one of the first experiences that surely comes.  Denial may seen to be in the way of progress, but, in truth, it serves a purpose for a while.  Periods of denial allow some space to reach within and re-discover both one's inner resources and to reach outward to find the external resources needed as well.  Both will be necessary.  The onset of grief, a spontaneous process we learn by living through it, though so painful, is indeed necessary.


While reaching for the inner and external resources, it is good to recall those in your social network.  No one can go through grief alone.  The person you lost was part of an interwoven family and social group.  Someone in that network will most likely be the person who can walk closely and faithfully with you.  Loss causes social problems for us and a closer companion who tries to understand- literally to stand under as support in one's time of need- is an important aide in the grieving process.  Allow for this relationship, seek it, and be grateful for that  significant person.


Some few find a prayer partner, a spiritual guide or a spiritually-minded companion of support group.  What a treasure!  This helps so much in renewing your God-relationship within your new view of life and relationships.  God remains close but the sufferings may not allow you to perceive that.  Another/others can embody God's loving concern.


Grief has a sad but healthy purpose when someone we love dies.  One goes through it as uniquely as it seems right, but go  through it one must, and deliberately, so that a part of oneself does not also die but moves forward discovering new dimensions of life.














"The darker the night,

the brighter the stars,

The deeper the grief,

the closer is God!


  Fyodor Dostoyevsky 







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